What would happen if the Canadian government was in charge of Christmas miracles? That’s the question I try to answer in an article which appears in today’s Vancouver Sun.
Here’s a synopsis:

• Miracles would be marketed by ad companies associated with the Liberal party.
  
• There would be about 10 times as many angels as required to do the job.
  
• Every other year the miracle-givers would go on strike to get a richer pension.
  
• A disproportionately large share of the miracles would end up being performed in Quebec.
  
• Government spending on miracles would increase but the quality of miracles would decrease.
  
• Any miracle involving smoking, pit bulls or trans fats would be banned.
  
• The waiting lists for miracles would keep getting longer and longer.
  
• You would be required to fill out a complex series of “Application for a Miracle” forms in both official languages and in triplicate.
  
• No miracle could be performed without an environmental impact study.
  
• You would need to report the financial gain from any miracle on your income tax returns.
  
• Canadian premiers would complain about the “Miracle Imbalance.”
  
• Then, of course, there would be all those thorny debates in the House of Commons as to whether atheists or non-Christians would be eligible for Christmas miracles and that perhaps in the interest of inclusiveness and tolerance they should be called “Winter Wishes.”